giggle snort

Omg this is so cool! Cant wait for next ones!

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 17:29:28 -0500

Omg this
is so cool! Cant wait for next
ones!

omg this is so cool! Excited for the next batch!

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 14:16:54 -0500

omg this is so cool! Excited for the next batch!

Maybe You Dont Know Me

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 16:47:00 -0400

I am a 24 year old, half Italian(-American) girl. Moderately liberal because I would never deny someone something that increases their happiness as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else. Big proponent of science over religion because I prefer logic to faith and because I believe that being without religion does not mean that you go without a moral compass. My biggest pet peeve is the obvious lack of consequences for some people who do horrible things and get away with it, like people who bully or drive erratically on the highway but honk at you like you are the problem. This stems back to my non-religious mindset because I don’t believe there is some omnipotent judge just waiting for these people to die so they can get their just deserves. These people just keep doing what they want and get whatever they want at the expense of others and this, above all else, is what really burns my buns.

These beliefs are what help me sleep at night. Knowing that my stance in the world would never allow for anyone to consider me ridiculous or outrageous. The people who represent my ideals are well-spoken and eloquent. Their protest signs are spelled correctly and their points are based in logic and sound economics and good will towards their fellow man. Occasionally poking fun at those we consider ridiculous and outrageous, because to take them seriously would surely drive me insane. Because watching them on television forcing their fear mongering down the collective throat of the rest of the country is so awful and heartbreaking that the only way to deal with it on a daily basis is to laugh it off. Surely anyone with a brain wouldn’t buy into it. I am constantly surprised by how many people do.

In my personal life, I am a 50/50 split of traditionalism and modern beliefs. I want to get married and be a stay-at-home mother one day and do all the “womanly” crafts that were so common in the days of yore. I also think that those roles can be achieved by anyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation. I wouldn’t hesitate to let my children play with or go to the home of a child who had homosexual parents. In fact, their house is probably a cleaner, safer place to play than my own.

I am not interested in having long, drawn out conversations about politics or religion. In my training in the beauty industry I was taught that these are not polite topics of conversation, and I stand by that system. I will often state my opinion about a topic, but merely to have it stated, not to hear your response. I realize this is the adult equivalent to walking up on the stage and saying “I have yellow hair!” with no provocation. I am okay with this. Participating in “debate” is what I consider one of the biggest wastes of my time. I would rather get my finger caught in a door that waste minutes I will never get back. No one is going to change the way I look at the world, and I in no way seek to change anyone else’s, so I leave it at that.

Its that time of month again. No, Aunt Flo isnt in town. Its time to write checks. Like checks to ex...

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:55:05 -0400

Its that time of month again. No, Aunt Flo isnt in town. Its time to write checks. Like checks to ex boyfriends who you owe money to. I hate writing this check most of all. Not because he is a jerk or anything like that (although, lately, maybe he is, I wouldnt know), but becaues I am forced, yet again, to think about him and the reason why I am writing these stupid checks.

I hate owing people money, period. The guilt I feel is never worth whatever it is that I acquired through the loan. In this instance, it was a car, and it was bought for the sake of BOTH of our sanity. He had a car, I didnt, and he didnt want to drive me around anymore. Did I ask him to buy me a car? No, he offered. Did I accept, yes, unfortunately I did. And now I am paying for it, literally.

Just to clarify, we didnt break up because I owed him a moderate amount of money. We broke up because we were living together in a farce of a relationship with no passion or common interests. Literally, we had no interests in common. In fact, his interests pissed me off. I dont want to say anything negative on the topic. I dont want to think about the topic at all, but here I am, making out a check (so that I can prove in a court of law that I paid him if the need ever arose) and I have to mail it because we arent on speaking terms. THATS what burns my buns. Cant we be adult and accept the fact that it wasnt going to work out? Apparently not.

I am angry and in debt which makes me more angry. Its too bad I dont have any anthrax to sprinkle into this envelope, and I would never have to have a day like this again.

Musical Artists I Have Recently Encountered

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 19:12:05 -0400

Recently I have been trying to reach out and listen to music perhaps I would not normally.

1. Lady Gaga - her music is catchy (i guess?) but I think her style is completely over-hyped and frankly I am tired of hearing about her. That means you, Perez Hilton. Obsess over someone less obnoxious please.

2. M.I.A. - That one song from Slumdog Millionaire is okay, but the rest of her stuff is unintelligible and I dont like the beats much. Thinking maybe she should concentrate on taking care of her new baby instead of doing something foolish like making more music.

3. Jack’s Mannequin - Nothing of note to report. It was a pleasant but unmemorable experience.

4. Lindsay Lohan - this was done out of morbid curiosity. Its your average, run of the mill, studio pop music. Auto-tune and everything. While I wish her well in her endeavors, I am thinking this will not be her most successful one.

Common Courtesy

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 12:01:15 -0400

You should really give people a heads up when you are having a social or mental breakdown resulting in the deletion of a social media profile. Like a countdown or a one-time update, ‘hey guys its nothing you did, but I don’t want to be here anymore’ kind of thing.

Your close and not so close friends will thank you for it. Also, they wont be left wondering if you ONLY deleted them from your friends list, or if you deleted your entire profile.

Yet another reason why the internet makes social life hell. I cant wait to not use it all day every day anymore, but I fear that day will never happen.

it has officially been spring for about a week now. which means...

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:56:24 -0400

it has officially been spring for about a week now. which means nothing because i dont trust those groundhogs as reliable seasonal predictors. that tradition has never made sense.

Show-Bama!

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 17:37:00 -0400

Ok, to those of you who live under a rock (that somehow has internet access - great rock!), the healthcare reform just passed in the house with a majority vote and its been a LONG time coming.

Personally I didnt follow a lot of it until recently but have been innundated with republican sympathizing comments and emails since it has been passed and its really making me angry. I will tell you why. It isnt because it is Republican vs. Democrat (at all - I dont subscribe to any political party). What bothers me is the ignorance and outright FEAR MONGERING that is going on. Long drawn out emails about the corruption of the political system and how much better life was back in the 60’s when politicians were still good hearted and honest. Its BULLSHIT.

Never in any of these comments does anyone address an actual ISSUE with the healthcare reform. They are upset that Obama has the power to implement his big ideas. That is what being the President is about, and you are clearly kidding yourself if you think that there was a point in history where the President wasnt power-hungry to a certain extent. Thats how you get to be president.

If you wanted to come to me and state in clear and defined terms the issue that you take with certain aspects of the health care reform, I am happy to listen. We can discuss the pro’s and con’s of such a reform, and how it affects you, your family, or the billions of people you dont know that dont have anything in common with you. Don’t send your propaganda to me. Dont start name-calling on my Facebook wall. How old are you?

But let me say this: If you are an adult, in a family, and you cannot afford health care, then this reform was clearly MADE FOR YOU and you look like an ungrateful brat for being so upset at its passing. The reform ensures your insurance company wont drop you from your insurance when you come down with an illness that costs more than your yearly insurance allowance. It ensures that your rates will not be raised unreasonably. It ensures that your deadbeat son who is still living in your house at 25 can still be covered under your insurance. I dont know what the fuck you are so upset about. It ensures that the insurance companies are required to cover you for pre-existing conditions which are impossible to determine. I have been diagnosed under my current health insurance and had the insurance company deny me because they considered it a “pre-existing condition”! I spent well over two hours on the phone with my insurance company just this morning trying to get money out of them that they owe me. Insurance companies and pharmacuetical companies are the ONLY ONES who benefit from the old system. Dont kid yourself by pretending you were fine with the way things were. If you depend on government run health care systems currently, you should be thanking your lucky stars and kissing Obama’s stinky feet (the man is on his feet all day, I bet they reek).

On that note, I leave you. Either half-heartedly agreeing with me, or shaking your head in temporary rage. How dare someone as young as myself have an opinion that differs from yours! Thats not how things were done when I WAS YOUNG. I did what I was told and I LIKE IT.

Well, that’s nice.

My theme song.

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:50:39 -0400

My theme song.

I Want To Know Your Plans

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:17:56 -0400

I want to know your plans and how involved in them I am. When you leave for good will I be forgiven? And If you want roses you can go buy a bouquet. If that just won’t cut it, well what can I say?

You’re what keeps me believing the world’s not gone dead, strength in my bones put the words in my head. When they pour out to paper, it’s all for you. ‘Cause that’s what you do. That’s what you do.

I want to know your fears, from your feet to the back of your ears, and when they raise the landing gear will your heart stay here? If you could forgive me for being so brash, well you… you could hit me or whip me, I’d savor each lash.

No more fighting. This is only a waste of our time ‘cause soon we’ll be leaving. Will this strength still be mine? I’ll look out for you ‘til I die, ‘til I rot. I’ll remember you ‘til I die, until I rot.

You’re what keeps me believing the world’s not gone dead, strength in my bones put the words in my head. When they pour out to paper, it’s all for you. ‘Cause that’s what you do.

Cut! From My Facebook Page...

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 10:51:36 -0400

I miss the days when you broke up with someone and just never had to see them again. Ah, those were the beautiful good old days.

The internet is seriously fucking up this process for me. And when I have kids they are limited to how much time they are allowed to spend on the internet in order to curb the emotional damage that gets done when you live and date in relation to the internet.

Facebook, seriously, I spend way too much time on you. And I cant delete him off of my friends list without feeling like I am hurting someone’s feelings, but do I really need to keep reading his vague and slightly-emo status updates forever and ever? I dont know what he is referring to and so of course I just assume its my fault. That’s how it goes.

Clearly this is really pissing me off today. I cant find anything funny to say about it and my coffee hasnt kicked in yet anyway. Maybe that is a good thing. Water makes me exponentially less rage-y. This is something that a kitty-puppy snuggle cannot solve cause they are fighting like cats and dogs, ironically.

The ruler, almighty. Tilly.

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:05:58 -0400

The ruler, almighty. Tilly.

Mouse Trap

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:43:50 -0400

Functioning on Epic Fail today. My wireless mouse died and although I use a laptop with a track pad, I am a fan of ergonomics. Nothing scares me more than the thought that I might have to have carpel tunnel surgery like my mom had. She looks like a suicidal teen with the scars they left in her wrists. Not happening.

But it died and I thought I knew what to do because I just ASSUME that I am an independent, functioning adult. This is, apparently, not the case. I went to grab new batteries and I put them in and nothing happened! That is not how this scenario played out in my mind in the moments leading up to the battery replacement. I was going to put the new batteries in and the little power light would come on and I would go back to the pointless chat I was having with my friend from high school.

It took 20 minutes and two broken fingernails for me to figure out that I had put one of the batteries in upside down. Why, Electricity? Why do you do this to me? Why is orientation so important. You are like homophobes. Things always have to be your way and I hate that particular trait in a power-giving entity.

Next time, cut me some slack, dude. I cant ALWAYS know that the raised thingy on the battery goes up against the not raised thingy in the battery holder. I am not an electrician. With no + or - symbols to guide my way, I am but a humble guesser.

Is it really sad that I thought he was the hotter of the two...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:17:59 -0500

Is it really sad that I thought he was the hotter of the two main characters?

Oh Spock, you big bad Vulcan! Do you like pulling hair?

The Stupidest Of Questions

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:39:09 -0500

Just a note: Do not ever ask anyone if they like music.

Not only does this make you seem like an unimaginative and boring person for not being able to come up with better questions, but it is also a ridiculous question. Have you ever met someone who didnt like music at all?

The answer to that is NO! Of course you havent. Music is a part of being human and even if a person doesnt like a particular TYPE of music, that does not mean they do not like music at all. Dont be an idiot.

Learn to rephrase your questions, dummy. This does not make for good first date conversation and you are discreetly letting her know that you are not someone worth seeing again. Be specific. “Do you like R&B?” is a far better version. Ask her if she likes a style that you enjoy yourself. Establish a common interest.

Just another tip on how to be a better person. I can come up with a million of em. Keep your eyes open for the next installment of Miki’s Tips On How To Not Be A Douche.

giggle snort: A Public Service Announcement

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:08:44 -0500

giggle snort: A Public Service Announcement:

To my dear ex-BIL,

I appreciate you re-blogging and writing a rebuttal. This was a topic intended to incite conversation and debate. To be fair to your feelings, I understand how hard it is to control and express your emotions. It is the same for both genders and something that is a struggle FOREVER unfortunately.

But to be honest, it has been an uphill battle since high school to not find men who are offended by every little thing. Where we as women are raised even still to believe that tradition man-woman relationships exist, I have not been in a single one and I have been dating for over a decade. I get the constant questions as to how I am feeling and what am I thinking and the ENDLESS conversations about the status of the relationship. I might as well be a lesbian, cause it is strangely reminiscent of every complaint made by a woman in Cosmopolitan magazine. “I ask my boyfriend what he is thinking about and he always says ‘Nothing.’ I just want to know how he FEELS”.

As a whole, I agree. It does level out to “maturity vs. emotionality”. And it also ties into that article I posted on FB about the self-absorption of this generation and how this generation’s parents are too indulging. So if we are coddling our sons into being helpless, then we are setting them up for failure. Same for our daughters. Self-sufficiency is key.

ckburch:

I have noticed lately that guys are becoming more and more effeminate as we age. I am not sure if this is an age thing akin to a quarter life crisis, or if this generation of men are simply more sensitive, but it is a fascinating study.

To be honest, it is tiring; always having to work around the…

I think that the issue here is less of a gender role and one of maturity.

To have a woman say “Man up!” is really strange. What, exactly, does a woman know about being a man? Probably about as much as a man knows about being a woman: nothing. Or next to nothing. It all depends on the perception and the level of education. But to say “Man up and quit being a pussy” is really offensive and sexist, I think.

There’s a difference between knowing how to change a light socket cover and how to be a man. If you can’t change a light socket cover you’re an idiot, no matter the gender. If you can’t express your emotions without going into hysterics then you’re not a man. A man can express his emotions quite well, thank you very much; in fact HE SHOULD. The traditional definition of “a man” is the rough, gruff NO EMOTIONS WHATSOEVER John Wayne stereotype that’s stunted the emotional growth of generations of men, and thank god we’re moving away from that. I don’t care if I come off as effeminate, personally; I’ll tell you how I feel and I want to be heard on how I feel. Is that a gender role or a human condition? I believe that wanting to be understood on an emotional level is a human condition, and that for long time men were taught not to because of perception, of the hunter/gatherer tough stereotyping.

“Gentlemen: If she is inconsiderate of your feelings, think of what your grandfather would do (shut up about it and go work in the garage). Also, your indecisiveness is not a virtue. You dont get to break up with her and then come back the next day saying that you need to think about your feelings. Fuck your feeilngs. You are a man. You dont have feelings. You have urges. Go with the urges. Be a real man.”

A real man has feelings. A real man can express them, but it’s hard; you know how hard it is to allow yourself to actually say what you’re feeling AS A MAN knowing that the “idea” of a man is the exact opposite? That’s extraordinarily difficult. That’s allowing vulnerability into the strange tough guy role that men are “supposed” to have.

It seems to me that you’re looking at immaturity as the problem, and classifying it as not being “a man.” This is true; a boy can’t be a man. A boy acts the way you describe, but an asshole also acts in the manner that you prescribe. A true man is able to emote, relate, and speak without allowing his emotions to take control of him. And I’m speaking this AS a man who is constantly challenged to do so, and it’s not easy, but it’s doable.

Posts like these don’t make it any easier.

A Public Service Announcement

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:01:00 -0500

I have noticed lately that guys are becoming more and more effeminate as we age. I am not sure if this is an age thing akin to a quarter life crisis, or if this generation of men are simply more sensitive, but it is a fascinating study.

To be honest, it is tiring; always having to work around the potential hissy fit that will come at the drop of a hat because they are so damn TOUCHY about everything. Women, stop coddling your sons. Stop coddling your boyfriends. You are ruining them for other women everywhere who don’t want to have to scramble for the right thing to say when he bursts into tears because he is feeling tired and stressed out.

The role reversal is disturbing. I dont want to be the one that knows more about how a car’s engine works. I dont want to be the one with superior carpentry skills. There is a natural order to life in the “traditional” sense of the word and I think that sometimes it is fine to throw feminism out the window and just tell someone to “MAN UP, STOP BEING A PUSSY!” I want to bake and sew and raise children and by “raise children” I dont mean “teach my boyfriend how to change a light socket cover”.

I blame the women of generations past who complained that their boyfriends “dont understand” and “need to be more sensitive to my feelings” and you raised your sons like you would raise your daughters, so its no wonder that you see so many dudes in girl’s jeans!

Gentlemen: If she is inconsiderate of your feelings, think of what your grandfather would do (shut up about it and go work in the garage). Also, your indecisiveness is not a virtue. You dont get to break up with her and then come back the next day saying that you need to think about your feelings. Fuck your feeilngs. You are a man. You dont have feelings. You have urges. Go with the urges. Be a real man.

Disclaimer: effeminate behavior is forgivable in the following situations:

-If you are gay. Sometimes it just cant be helped and SOMEONE has to play that role so it might as well be you. See John Leguizamo in To Wong Foo.

-If you are in a band. Your overemotional behavior is forgivable if you channel it through song and then play the dick in your day to day life. See Rob Gordon in High Fidelity.

Know your role.

Messing around. Boredom creates all manner of strange things.

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:37:39 -0500

Messing around. Boredom creates all manner of strange things.

Nick Hornby Is Cooler Than You

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:47:00 -0500

“So maybe what I said before, about how listening to too many records messes your life up… maybe there’s something in it after all. David Owen, he’s married right? He’s taken care of all that, and now he’s a big-shot dipolamt. The guy who came into the shop with the suit and car keys, he’s married, too, and now he’s, I don’t know, a businessman. Me, I’m unmarried - at the moment as unmarried as it’s possible to be - and I’m the owner of a failing record shop. It seems to me that if you place music (and books, probably, and films, and plays, and anything that makes you feel) at the center of your being, then you can’t afford to sort out your love life, start to think of it as the finished product. You’ve got to pick at it and unravel it until it all comes apart and you’re compelled to start all over again. Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship. Maybe Al Green is directly responsible for more than I ever realized.

See, records have helped me to fall in love, no question. I hear something new, with a chord change that melts my guts, and before I know it I’m looking for someone, and before I know it I’ve found her. I fell in love with Rosie the simultaneous orgasm woman after I’d fallen in love with a Cowboy Junkies song: I played it and played it and played it, and it made me dreamy, and I needed someone to dream about, and I found her, and… well there was trouble.”

Dont Laugh At Genetics.

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 11:13:00 -0500

Lets talk for a moment about genetics, cause it has more relevance to your life than whatever it was that you were doing a second ago.

I worry about genetics all the time. To be fair, I worry about a lot of things all the time, including the apocoplypse and the likelihood that I will fall out of a boat and get eaten by a shark despite the fact that I havent stepped foot on a sea vessel of any kind in a minimum of 15 years. Despite my illogical fears, genetics are real and they will come back to karate chop you in the neck when you least expect it. You are just minding your own business, living your life and then BAM! You have colon cancer. That’s how it works. Trust me, I am not remotely anything like a doctor but that’s how it works.

I dont worry about genetics for myself, although I suppose I really should. I worry about genetics for my unborn children. I use this worry as a filter for dating men. You have to scope out what the other person is bringing to the table in more ways than one. It’s not just someone’s emotional background that matters! You have to think of the equation of my soft teeth and his overactive sweat glands equals one offspring that is a virgin until 40. I am thinking of my child’s well-being before there is even a being to be well.

Often times I wont notice someone’s genetic flaws until it is too late. The emotional bonds have been made and then the shirts come off and then you realize they have more back hair than the Cro-Magnon Man in the winter time. There is nothing you can do at that point without looking like a monster, so you power through two years of agonizing day-to-day relationship stuff until you can safely break it off without him thinking it was because of his body hair. This is why early detection of genetic flaws is key.

My suggestion: Thorough background checks, interviews, and body examinations (like they do for the Marines).

Play it safe. Know what you are getting yourself into. For yourself, for your children, for future generations everywhere.