Its that time of month again. No, Aunt Flo isnt in town. Its time to write checks. Like checks to ex boyfriends who you owe money to. I hate writing this check most of all. Not because he is a jerk or anything like that (although, lately, maybe he is, I wouldnt know), but becaues I am forced, yet again, to think about him and the reason why I am writing these stupid checks.
I hate owing people money, period. The guilt I feel is never worth whatever it is that I acquired through the loan. In this instance, it was a car, and it was bought for the sake of BOTH of our sanity. He had a car, I didnt, and he didnt want to drive me around anymore. Did I ask him to buy me a car? No, he offered. Did I accept, yes, unfortunately I did. And now I am paying for it, literally.
Just to clarify, we didnt break up because I owed him a moderate amount of money. We broke up because we were living together in a farce of a relationship with no passion or common interests. Literally, we had no interests in common. In fact, his interests pissed me off. I dont want to say anything negative on the topic. I dont want to think about the topic at all, but here I am, making out a check (so that I can prove in a court of law that I paid him if the need ever arose) and I have to mail it because we arent on speaking terms. THATS what burns my buns. Cant we be adult and accept the fact that it wasnt going to work out? Apparently not.
I am angry and in debt which makes me more angry. Its too bad I dont have any anthrax to sprinkle into this envelope, and I would never have to have a day like this again.
